Guide to writing an MR fic I'll like
by GracefullyFallingDown
Summary: Read at your own risk; many will be burned, but something will be learned. *poet moment*


My Maximum Ride Pet Peeves:

Pet peeve número uno:

Hi, I'm Max.

NO. Do NOT start your story like this. I'm literally already snoring if this is your introduction. Usually I just click out of the story and search for a different one if yours begins like this.

Don't do this either;

Hi, I'm Max. I'm 5'6 and really skinny and I don't think I'm pretty but everyone else does, especially the guys staring at my ass all the time, but I usually just punch whoever looks at me weird's lights out so it's all good, 'cuz also I'm a huge badass, and I have an aversion to anything moderately girly, except for when Nudge or Ella or Angel forces me to dress nice which happens to be like ninety percent of the time, and I know I look smoking' hot when I dress like a girl, but whatever because I like to try my hardest to be a huge rebellious bitch, but for some reason everyone in the world likes me anyway, but I don't really have any friends except for the 20 people I will now proceed to introduce in similar fashion...

Yeah. NO.

-First of all, run on sentence much?

-Second, I hate to break it to everyone in the world of FanFiction, but Max doesn't beat everyone who looks at her funny to a pulp. I've found that in most Max fic's, she has this irrational anger and fuck-the-world attitude. This is NOT how Maximum Ride acts. Sure, she has walls, but that's just so she can stay strong for the Flock. She does not hate everyone on earth. Remember, the whole point of her existence was to SAVE the world. And one who HATES the world does not SAVE it. I don't care if you are writing an All-Human fic or a spinoff from Book Five, MAKE HER IN-CHARACTER, or as close as you possibly can.

-Third, please don't give me an exact description on everything about everyone down to the way Max's little toe on her right foot points a funny direction. If it has some direct correlation with your plot line, like Max's little toe was grafted on or something, then it's okay (it's better if you work it into the story somehow than just in the introduction), but we don't really need random, pointless details.

Here are some details you DON'T need to put in your intro.

-her height

-her favorite sport

-her favorite food (I'm SO SICK of hearing about chocolate chip cookies)

-her hair color/ dye job.

-her best friend's name

-the color of her eyes.

-blah, blah, blah, you get the idea.

-Fourth, I don't need to know what a BADASS she is. I don't need to hear how she broke three girls noses last week or whatever the hell else certain writers make her do to make her seem tough. Max fights WHEN SHE NEEDS TO, not just 'cuz a guy checks her out. She might glare at him, or even flip him off, but she's not going to knee him "where the sun don't shine" or "where it counts" or whatever other phrases people to afraid to say crotch or balls come up with.

-Fifth, I'm pretty sure Max only dresses like a boy because she doesn't really have a choice since she's running for her life. I believe Max doesn't really care what she looks like, and though she may not have an award-winning sense of style, she also isn't allergic to heeled shoes. If you're going to make her dress like a boy, give me a reason se doesn't like dresses or heels. Say "I don't like wearing heels, because they are uncomfortable, and honestly I'm tall enough already." not just "I hate heels. I would rather eat my own spleen that wear them." because, while that would be an amusing line, there is no reasoning behind it.

-Another tip on the whole wardrobe scene; if you MUST have your sequin-hating Max, have her put up a fight when Nudge tries to dress her up. I HATE when Max is like "I hate anything girly, but I do let Nudge dress me up like a prostitute anytime she wants 'cuzs I have no defense against her Bambi eyes, even though I'm supposed to be a huge badass."

-Now that we've gone over the dress thing, one more minors detail I've noticed; Max isn't a nun, but I HATE when people dress her up like a prostitute.

Biiiiig no no.

-And I also hate when people make her seem super-conceited. "I could tell right away that I was the HOTTEST one in the room." or "All the guys were checking out my ass." She does not do this. In fact, in the books, she seems pretty oblivious to Fangs little crush for a while, right? She's not one to assume loads of guys are panting after her, even if they are.

-And finally, if you go against everything I have just said and make Max a world class, conceited bitch that dresses like a boy/prostitute and beats up random people, how the hell does she have any friends, and how do you expect Fang to fall in love with her?

Thanks for listening to my rant:) sorry if anybody is offended, this is just my opinion. Give me something's that bother you about Max Ride fic's and I'll try to address them.

Ciao!

-Addi.


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